Healthy adult humans naturally have the ability to care for ourselves. As a psychology major (“way back” in the late 1970’s) I remember learning Maslow’s hierarchy of needs: Physiological, Safety, Love and Belonging, Esteem, Self-Actualization and over the last decade I’ve dabbled in the practice of Yoga. Most recently I listened to an episode from Oprah Winfrey’s Super Soul Podcast in which she had a conversation with Deepak Chopra in which Chopra discussed the power of the human mind and his belief that our cellular lives could easily live up to of 130 years if we harness our minds’ influence over our body’s health. As I looked back on this episode, I was surprised to see it was from one of Oprah’s shows in 2009.

Our American culture promotes “independence” and encourages or even rewards us for being “self-reliant”. I used to refer to my personal skill-set as “the jack of all trades but master of none”. I strive to know myself well, whether or not I’m willing to admit that knowing too often. As an only child, I recall being classified as spoiled because I had all of my parents’ attention. I remember trying so very hard not to embody that stereotype, but I did learn to entertain myself and enjoy my own company. My Mother often recites a phrase the three- to five-year-old Lonnise would petulantly proclaim “I do it myself”. As an adult I’m often reminded that I am the only human I am guaranteed to live with for the rest of my life; however, I am in charge and in control of no one or nothing in this world but my choices and my attitudes. At times that’s felt bleak, a kind of lonely resolve. Mostly however it’s a source of pride and strength. When push comes to shove, I can and will figure it out and continue on.

Nonetheless, the self-reliance “skill” I have learned to value more than any other, especially in the last 18 months of pandemic-induced isolation is the art of cultivating interdependence. Yes, I probably can “do it myself”; however there are many times when someone else who enjoys “it” more can and will do it much better than I am ever willing. The key is to recognize these opportunities for connection and an exchange of personal talents with one another that lets us aspire to live our best lives. I choose not to be dependent, nor independent, but rather interdependent with other beings (human AND not). Maybe America would benefit from a Declaration of Interdependence, this American certainly does.